neoplasm

what do you expect

bendymind@gmail.com — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 15:55:52 GMT

I don't really care for the way that so-called teacher is referring to his community college kids. Cheated and then cheated again. They have absolutely no hope.

God damn.

What I didn't comment because -it's never worth it to comment on anything

bendymind@gmail.com — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 12:35:39 GMT

In under 500:

I tried to allude to this, to walking a lonely path but having also to exist in the dominant system. I was misunderstood and called greedy bitch by the very same people who all claimed to 'get it.' Whatever. Maybe they'll hear it coming out of your mouth. Keep talking after age 30 and we'll see how many of these folks still think you stuck to it, no matter how you play it. Hypocrisy is inevitable. I don't disrespect you, by the way. Just so tired of the same unavoidable fucking patterns.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNJnpivhH8U

--

The first thing you did was reduce her to a measure of attractiveness. Is it any question really what this is born of?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCsZq-wBB2Q

--

wow - none of that is as innocuous as it seems

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avEy97WDH44

--

TRS-80 I used to save my data on cassette tapes, and all I really had to save in that regard was a BASIC program that could make it play Three Blind Mice. I'd typed that key for key out of the back of the instruction manual.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9qGxHDajhs

poem

bendymind@gmail.com — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 13:46:14 GMT

EACH MOMENT A WHITE BULL STEPS SHINING INTO THE WORLD

If the gods bring to you
a strange and frightening creature,
accept the gift
as if it were one you had chosen.

Say the accustomed prayers,
oil the hooves well,
caress the small ears with praise.

Have the new halter of woven silver
embedded with jewels.
Spare no expense, pay what is asked,
when a gift arrives from the sea.

Treat it as you yourself
would be treated, brought speechless and naked
into the court of a king.

And when the request finally comes,
do not hesitate even an instant –

stroke the white throat,
the heavy, trembling dewlaps
you’d come to believe were yours,
and plunge in the knife.

Not once
did you enter the pasture
without pause,
without yourself trembling,
that you came to love it,that was the gift.

Let the envious gods take back what they can.
- Jane Hirshfield

warm is good

bendymind@gmail.com — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 11:03:28 GMT

ok then.

nevermind.

i feel warm.

yeah

bendymind@gmail.com — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 09:29:00 GMT

"Because the people most in need of help also need help in terms of learning how to not burn their damned bridges" -ginmar

terrorist organizations need not apply

bendymind@gmail.com — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 11:06:53 GMT

An organization that is identified or designated as a terrorist organization within the meaning of section 501(p)(2) is not eligible to apply for recognition of exemption.
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p557/ch01.html

for better or worse

bendymind@gmail.com — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 16:06:31 GMT

hey look it's me - no - right there -

let go your inhibitions

bendymind@gmail.com — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 07:00:32 GMT

Again - don't know if I should post my journal to twitter. Cross cross. Where - is my place to just scream?

Need letting go place that doesn't get me into trouble.

On being loud

bendymind@gmail.com — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 06:58:59 GMT

Wish again I'd sat on it. Now I have to cover back.

mmhm believe it

bendymind@gmail.com — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 22:06:03 GMT

turns out to be embarrassing in ways it shouldn't be because half of what it is is the way that people react to it.

stupid.

people. you're all... dorks.

that's right.

advice

bendymind@gmail.com — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 21:14:41 GMT

I know they're trying to help me and I appreciate that, but they do not have anything I need. Their advice...

I know it's your own responsibility to sell your notions, but I really don't think I've been so entirely defunct regarding personal opinions as to not be understood to the extent I am not understood. My one problem doesn't cancel all the rest of me out. We're talking about up close and personal here, not sketchy internet and vague.

They seize -to advance their own agendas -and call it help.

It isn't.

It doesn't.

And I can't strike back.

bean soup

bendymind@gmail.com — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 11:11:10 GMT

I siphoned bean soup off the top of my bean soup so that I could have bean soup before it was really ready. I prematurely souped instead of coffeed. Excellent doing.

brain

bendymind@gmail.com — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 20:12:19 GMT

Stirred up. I'm tired of brain overload when getting stirred. I literally can not handle it.

People will suck and they will be in your face. How - to not care.

?

Fuck off

bendymind@gmail.com — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 07:42:48 GMT

Condescension. Love it when they're quietly embarrassed for you.

dumplings

bendymind@gmail.com — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:29:47 GMT

3hits. know what that means? not what you think. don't give a fuck.

tomorrow i'll make dumplings.

mad men

bendymind@gmail.com — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:13:07 GMT

drinking wine, watching mad men. do men get that? i don't think men get it. if they do, i think they're the exception. am i wrong about that?

i don't think so.

.

bendymind@gmail.com — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 12:47:19 GMT

.

bendymind@gmail.com — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 20:06:34 GMT

.

bendymind@gmail.com — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 13:19:33 GMT

zits. people.

bendymind@gmail.com — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 16:27:52 GMT

dolphin acne is not at all attractive.

i felt better before the grocery store incident.

people thing.

hate it.

alone with the social intricacies

bendymind@gmail.com — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 20:14:47 GMT

The self-deprecation isn't working for me. Trained that way, but don't actually think ill of myself. It's everyone else I hate, but again not the way I think they think I do.

They're all dropping out. I wrote Kelly again anyway.

Met a Karen.

The self-deprecation. It isn't working for me.

dreams

bendymind@gmail.com — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 11:02:27 GMT

I'm going to start remembering my dreams again.

yeah

bendymind@gmail.com — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 09:42:21 GMT

Why don't you just leave him: http://ginmar.livejournal.com/1761307.html

twitter

bendymind@gmail.com — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 08:54:11 GMT

This is the TEST shipment you asked for

11:58 A Question of Nature: (In the as-if-anyone-cares department: Real Life caught up with me & I had to disappea.. bit.ly/PipyX #
15:38 RT @denyreligion Horror of Kenya's 'witch' lynchings - Women burned alive by mobs of
credulous fools. #atheism bit.ly/CoU2d #
17:57 Who’s A Low Level Terrorist? Are You?: Recently, an American Civil Liberties Union report pointed out, “Anti-ter.. bit.ly/CfA2F #
17:57 Camping at Tällberg -- Episode 2: A Bad Problem Problem is Actually Much Worse:
It’s morning. I had a wonderfu.. bit.ly/hDn1Q #
20:49 RT @D1N Just watching a short little interview with Noam Chomsky by resistnetwork. The answer is in you. tinyurl.com/lopzm8 #
21:01 Web Development job vacancy in London (UK) - Forum moderator - Ref. GK002FM bit.ly/gJWvX #
21:02 The faster they come: How social status is negotiated among fishes: Being the neighbourhood bully has its obviou.. bit.ly/WehJA #
07:59 Rally in Canberra September 7: Homebirth: What’s the Crime? Guest post by Janet Fraser:
This is a guest post by.. bit.ly/2P2rlI #
07:59 Advice please: First, a little background. I do not wear makeup, I rarely wear dresses I think I only own one ap.. bit.ly/xV6h9 #
08:36 Show support for democracy in Iran add green overlay to your Twitter avatar with 1-click - helpiranelection.com/ #

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bendymind@gmail.com — Sun, 10 May 2009 10:16:55 GMT